In fact, I wanted to deny it when I was first faced with the label. But after my sister confronted me I had to admit it.

Well, they say that the first step to solving the problem is admitting you have one, so I guess I'm at step one.

So here it is -- I am a pageant Mom.

Yep, no better than those women you see on Dr. Phil and Oprah who dress their 3-year-old girls up to look like a Hollywood starlet heading for a red carpet. You've seen them; they end up yelling at their poor little girls and having catfights with the other mothers over who should win.

Yeah, I know I have two boys -- well, basically two men. And no, I didn't dress them up -- so I better explain.

I'm a pageant Mom to "show cattle." Yes, show cattle.

I don't know when it started, but I was confronted with my problem a few years ago when my sister was watching me "help" the boys get their steers ready for the Saline County fair show.

"Pull that leg hair up better … Tuck in your shirt … Put more oil in his hair … Comb your hair … Oh no, he manured. (Not my son. The steer.) ... Brush that out ... Where's your comb? ... Comb that hair on his neck ... Don't use the same comb on your hair ... He needs more black paint ... Didn't you bring the black paint? ... Be sure and watch the judge ... Get his legs set up right ... Don't "saw" the steer with your show stick ... Pull up his hip hair …Be sure and set his feet wide apart ..."

After listening for several minutes, my sister smiled wryly. "Marcia, you're a pageant Mom," she exclaimed! And my sister knew one when she saw one -- as a former dance squad member, Mizzou Golden Girl and perfect oldest daughter -- my mom had "secretly" entered her into the Miss Raytown pageant while she was away on a Girl Scout trip. (Got to give Mom credit -- my sis did get second runner-up!)

As a tomboy, the not-so-pretty one and the one who wouldn't wear dresses, my mom never tried that with me. So how in the world, with two boys, had I become "a pageant mom."

After thinking about it, I've realized there are probably two reasons.

First, when my oldest son was born, I discovered our local baby contests and wanted to enter our "beautiful" newborn. But when I told my husband, he said "No, we're not putting our son in a beauty contest. Judging is for animals - like steers." Apparently my "inner pageant mom" held onto the "steer" part!

And the second reason, I think, is that I love combing, blowing, brushing and "playing" with the steer or heifer's hair. I also just love the calves and their personalities.

While my children are all about feeding, leading and general calf care, I like to help with the grooming and find it very relaxing. And it's really ironic, considering I spend hardly anytime on my own hair. (As those who know me can attest.)

You see, unlike most steers in feedlots, "show steers" and "show heifers" are a different breed (not "literally" a different breed). It's a lot like the difference between the dogs in the AKC dog shows on television and your lovable pet at home. Or the difference between a 5-foot, 10-inch supermodel and a "normal" woman.

The show steers who win the big shows like the American Royal, or even the Missouri State Fair, are kept in cool quarters and given all the food they can eat so they grow big, beautiful and fat! (I often wish I was a show steer.) The cool temperatures, along with lots of rinsing, are used to help the calf grow long hair. That way a good groomer (sometimes called a "show jock") can clip the steer to look like the 'perfect' show animal. It's a lot like a good makeup artist for Hollywood starlets!

Right before a show, the steers are washed, blown dry and "fitted." "Fitting" means that the leg and body hair is pulled up and glued (with expensive hairspray) to make the animal look bigger boned, straight across the top and square hipped. In other words, a good groomer can minimize the flaws and make an average steer look good. (Think make-up artist again.)

And of course, prior to arriving at the show, some steers are rinsed up to three times a day. They are then blown dry and sprayed with a variety of "hair" products made just for show calves. A good "show jock" sprays and brushes some of those products in several times daily. There are companies and catalogs filled with grooming products with names like Prime Time, Rag Oil, Kleen Sheen, Pink, Revive, Zoom-Bloom, Styling Mouse, Final Bloom, Final Accent, along with a variety of combs, brushes and tools.

At one time, I wished we could be those people with the perfect show steer. I thought my sons and I could find the time to "play" with the calves' hair some thirty hours a day. I even suggested we get an air-conditioned room, like some of the big "show jocks." I believe my husband's answer was something like "Over my dead body." I wasn't willing to go that far, so I dropped the idea.

However, since I first discovered my "problem," I have come a long way.

I've come to accept the fact that we'll probably never raise that "perfect specimen." I also realize that there is no sense in being a pageant mom without "pageant kids." In fact, my boys now are happy raising and showing Red Angus heifers, which are not known for their hair and look better with short hair. I also realized that the project is a lot more fun for all of us if I just let them do it their way. (Ironically, they never mind if I rinse, blow and spray at home.)

But now when the inner pageant mom comes out in me on show day, I just do what any good mother does.

"It's all your Dad's fault … I just wanted to enter you in a baby contest."