A man and a woman are driving past a Harley dealership and decide to stop in "just for a look."

The man inspects the bike from stem to stern. He's thinking, "This is one fantastic ride. I can already feel the wind in my face, the freedom, the open road!"

The woman is thinking, "Wow! What a great way to go shopping! It's a little short on storage space, but who cares?"

Okay. It's not that extreme, but there is one crucial difference between the average man and the average woman when it comes to a motorcycle.

Men think of the bike as a way to ride. They don't really care where they're going as long as it's forward.

Women think of the bike as a way to get somewhere. They don't really care where they're going as long as it's somewhere.

This difference gives rise to conversations like this one:

Average man: "Honey, let's take the bike out this weekend."

Average woman: "Sure! Where are we going?"

Average man: "What you mean, where?"

I wasn't aware of this critical difference in thinking until last weekend, when my Significant Other (SO) and I took a spin on his Harley. I say spin, but spin is a relative term. I think of a spin on the bike as maybe three times or four times around the block. Maybe even as much as say, 20 miles.

The SO thinks of a spin as, oh, give or take 300 miles. And as he has frequently reminded me since, I am the one who chose the route for our ride last weekend. That was, of course, before I realized that riding, not arriving, is the goal.

No wonder he was so delighted when I said, "Let's go to Hannibal and take the scenic ride from there to Louisiana." He hasn't agreed to something that fast in a long while.

What I had in mind was riding up to Hannibal, investigating the route to Louisiana and then returning to Hannibal for some snooping in antique stores and maybe a leisurely lunch before riding back to Marshall by the same route.

Apparently, this is not the way it's done.

For one thing, you don't come and go by the same route. There is evidently some kind of motorcycle "Code of the Road" that forbids this sort of misbehavior.

And speaking of the code of the road, I must mention "The Wave."

While you're riding, you will meet bikes coming the other way. On a very nice day, you will meet a quite a lot. You must wave at all of them.

How you wave is just as important as the wave itself. This is not the time to do your arm-flapping Pee Wee Herman imitation. For this you need your coolest, most laid-back, barely discernible wave. This is accomplished by a slight extension of the left hand, held at its lowest level, almost as if you are attempting to do a hip-level high-five. Since I hadn't had an opportunity to practice the ultra-cool wave, I just did my best princess wave.

But I digress.

Being a passenger on the back of a Harley for more than 300 miles, when conversation isn't required, gave me a lot of time to think. And what I thought about is how I could provide guidance for other novice motorcycle passengers, especially women. So here is my list:

-- Don't drink a lot of coffee before you start. Do I have to explain this?

-- Forget about doing your hair. After it's been under a helmet for as little as 20 minutes, no amount of gel or hairspray is going to make it look good. Forget that commercial where the woman takes off her helmet and cascades of beautifully-styled hair tumble to her shoulders.

-- Wear big sunglasses. After you take the helmet off, they do a reasonably good job of making your hair look better when they're perched atop your head. Not good, just better than if you didn't have them.

-- Take a purse large enough for a tube of lipstick, your driver's license, a credit or debit card and your insurance card. The lipstick will make your hair look better.

-- Wear jeans with a zipper longer than three inches. Even big sunglasses and lipstick will not make your backside look good if you're over 25 and wearing low-riders.

-- Don't bother taking pictures while the bike is moving. I have discovered pictures come out much better when you're off the bike.

-- Take a jacket, even if it's hot. It's cool in the early morning and gets cooler when you're moving fast.

-- If your helmet has a face shield, and I'd suggest this is preferable, use it. An insect you'd swat away with a brief wave of your hand on the patio is an entirely different insect when it hits your bare face at 60 miles an hour. It's a lot easier to clean it off the face shield than to peel it off your cheek.

Riding in the open air gives you a whole new perspective on even familiar surroundings. You can see a lot more of the landscape. You can feel the change in temperature when you're riding in the shade. You can smell the fresh air. You will also discover that fresh air sometimes doesn't smell quite as fresh.

I expect the SO and I will do a lot more riding in future. Despite the 300+ miles we rode last Sunday, I wasn't saddle-sore at all. Tired, yes, but not so tired that I wouldn't do it again. Well, maybe a shorter ride next time.

The next destination I have in mind is Hermann, in the Missouri wine country. When I mentioned this to the SO, we had another conversation.

Me: "How about we ride down to Hermann?"

SO: "Okay, that sounds good."

Me: "We can go when it's a little cooler, the leaves will have turned, there are cute little shops, we can find a great place to have lunch, tour a winery..."

SO: "But we don't drink wine."

Oops, I already forgot. It's not about the destination, it's about the ride.