Sometimes, the most obvious things are the funniest.

A friend of my recently e-mailed me the following. Although I'm much too young to retire, it's interesting how the writer of this resume came to the final conclusion.

Enjoy. Try not to cringe on the bad puns.

"MY RESUME:

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.

3. After that, I tried to be a Tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.

5. Then, I tried to be a Chef -- figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

6. I attempted to be a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard.

7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but I didn't have any patience.

9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried but I just didn't fit in.

10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

11. I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.

12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

13. After many years of trying to find steady work! I finally got a job as a Historian -- until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND THAT I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB. !!!!"

Where's the beef? In Missouri, of course

Gov. Matt Blunt took the occasion of his appearance at the Missouri State Fair this week to ask Missouri food and beef industry leaders to establish Missouri as a nationally known premium beef producer, according to a news release from his office.

"Today we are charting a new course for Missouri beef, one that recognizes the full value of Missouri beef cattle," Blunt said in the release. "We have the potential to become the nation's best and most profitable beef industry," he said, adding, "When people think of quality beef, they should think of Missouri."

The concept, the release notes, is to develop a brand revolving around Missouri beef as a "premium, high-quality product." Included in the discussions were: the Missouri Restaurant Association; RPCS, Inc.; University of Missouri Extension; Missouri Beef Industry Council; Circle Angus Ranch; Associated Wholesale Grocers; Missouri Farm Bureau Federation; Missouri Department of Economic Development; Missouri Soybean Association, Missouri Cattlemen's Association; PFG Middendorf; University of Missouri Animal Science Research Center; and the Missouri Grocers Association.

The governor noted the state is home to more than 67,000 beef producers and ranks second in the nation in the number of cow/calf productions -- generating $3.7 billion annually in revenue.

It will be interesting to see what type of brand identification results from this discussions. There's already the national campaign of "Beef -- It's What's for Dinner." Missouri experts could come up with a catchy slogan, too, to brand market Missouri beef.

Mason is the editor of The Marshall Democrat-News. Spectrum appears on Friday.