We have an infestation of starlings at our house. Most years, we have a nice compliment of robins, doves, sparrows and the odd cardinal or blue jay. Not this year; this year we have starlings. They kicked the robins out of their nests and took them over. They are everywhere. Our back yard has a nice swimming pool and a nice bird bath. Starlings have claimed both of them. They perch on our fence and chase away other feathered visitors. They have nested in our gutters, and the babies are about to emerge. I can’t bring myself to clean the gutters until they are free and aloft. They can’t help that they were hatched as starlings, so they get a pass. As soon as they can fly, however, the gutters get cleaned.
I must admit, I don’t do roofs. I have a friend that I am hoping will help me with my gutters. I am not good at roofs. I slide a lot. I am not afraid to parachute out of a plane. I am not queasy at the top of the Empire State building. I am not necessarily afraid of heights, unless wind and ice are involved. I do, however, have a healthy fear of falling off of my roof. It would be painful, if not deadly, as there is a two story drop to concrete in my back yard. Thus, I am asking my friend to help me with this. He is a roofer. I would not ask a pool boy to clean my gutters or do my roof, so I ask someone who is skilled and able to do the job.
Back to the starlings, as they do figure in this week’s blog. Not only did they take over my back yard, they have decided that my pool is an excellent target. These guys have lots of droppings. These droppings are especially colorful at this time of year as mulberries are in edible form. This makes for a messy, purplish colored dropping that takes some effort to remove from the border of my pool. These birds take delight in leaving their presents in the pool itself. I think that they have a contest and that prizes are awarded. They don’t do much to the concrete or the road in front of my house. No! They hit the pool, and they do it quite often. Therefore, the first thing I do in the morning is get out the pool vacuum and get to work cleaning the bottom of the pool.
This is actually a lot easier this year than in recent years, as my pool had developed a leak under the concrete, and it was very difficult to determine the source of the leak. I had some people out a few times and at one point, they thought they had the problem solved. It was not solved. I asked around for a good pool repairman. I obtained a name and the gentleman came out here and fixed the pool. My pool is now gorgeous and easy to maintain. I am a happy pool boy. During the leaking years, the pool lost water, flooded my neighbor’s yard, and also, the lack of suction meant that I never really got the pool clean. There were also times, such as after a storm, where it was just better to dive in and gather large debris, such as bark and leaves. Now that the pool is fixed, I vacuum easily, my neighbor was able to remove the pontoons from his lawnmower, and once my gutters are cleared, I feel that the starlings will find another target.
I expect that you came to read this blog in order to get more insights to my campaign. Never fear, dear reader…here they come.
Some people build pools. They like the money, the job gets done and they move on, hopefully to more money. They leave the maintenance and cleaning for others to do. I have come to the conclusion that Missouri’s Republican politicians are pool builders. They spend a lot of time and use your money building pools. They tell you how great they look and then leave you to keep them clean and usable. All goes well for a few years, and then you get the leak. They may come out and do a cursory exam, dig a hole, fill it with concrete, smile at you and charge you. The next day, the leak is still there. You call them back, wanting the job done correctly. They don’t even answer the phone anymore. So what do you do? Do you call a roofer? No! The roofer knows what he is doing, and he keeps you safe and comfortable with your feet on the ground, but he doesn’t do pools. No…you call a Democrat. They fix the Republican politician’s messes. They make the pool clean and pretty again. They repair the leak, vacuum the pool and even dive in to clean up the big messes.
The 51st District has a big bad leak and a lot of crud on the bottom of the pool. Starlings don’t even want anything to do with it. The 51st District needs a pool boy. Nothing fancy or shiny. The 51st District needs someone to answer the phone, come to your pool and dive to the bottom of it, getting it clean again.
That’s what I want to do for you. I want to answer the phone and get the job done. In 20 years or so, when the pool just can’t be fixed anymore, it may be time to call the Republican politicians for an expensive new pool again, but don’t be surprised when they do not offer a warranty.
You saw that shiny new pool they called the “Right to Work” bill. It had so many holes that people were about to go broke before water was even added. The unions got together and kicked the politicians out of the deep end. They gathered petitions and got enough to have Proposition A placed on the ballot Aug. 7. Of course, this did not satisfy the pool builders, so in the face of outstanding opposition, they started to build another useless pool right next to the leaking one that you already have. It will be the vote in November for the Constitutional Amendment for the “Right to Work” (for less). I would urge everyone to vote “no” on both. Get the leaks plugged in your pools and yes, in November, vote for me to get that pool cleaned up for you.
There’s a lot of work to do yet. I am about to get rid of the starlings and get my gutters cleaned out. Then, I plan on continuing going door-to-door, trying to fix the Republican’s leaky pools.