Sleeping on the incline

Author's Note: Written with tongue firmly planted in cheek.

Mattress makers just don't seem to get it.

They apparently don't think about large folks when creating their latest editions of "the best night's sleep you've ever had" configurations of mattresses and box springs (or what's now known as the foundation).

We've had brand new mattress sets before that were great for awhile. But after a relatively short period of time, a sag formed on my side of the bed. That sag grew and grew until I ended up "sleeping on the incline."

For those of you who have never slept on the incline, it has a strange resemblance to lying on the side of a hill, trying to keep from rolling off. If you're facing away from the center of the mattress, you have to prop yourself into place with a small pillow or an arm or anything you can find. If you are facing toward the center of the bed, you constantly have to gauge where your posterior is in relation to the edge of the mattress.

Needless to say, you won't the "best night's sleep you've ever had" while sleeping on the incline.

Note: I have been told that "for a few dollars more" one can get a stronger, more stable mattress and foundation -- made specifically for larger individuals -- that will last longer. That's the usual pitch -- for a few dollars more.

But I don't want to single out the mattress makers for their seeming insensitivity toward the heavier population. It goes much deeper than that.

For instance:

--Clothes in the Big-n-Tall section at most department stores cost, on average, 20 percent to 30 percent more per item than those in the regular aisles. I'm sure the items don't contain 20 percent to 30 percent more fabric or take 20 percent to 30 percent more time to make. So what gives?

--The inner soles and inside heal pieces of most shoes -- even those advertised as top-of-the-line -- break down much easier when worn by heavier folks than by "normal" sized folks.

--Automobile seats are also prone to smash down and lose their shape when driven primarily by larger people, which translates to "sitting on the incline."

"Well, what do you expect? You're heavier than most folks."

And my answer would be, "I would like things to last -- no matter how big I am -- and without paying a premium for the better made or larger product."

But call me cynical, because that's not what I expect. I expect things to go on they way they have been.

And I expect to keep sleeping on the incline.