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Don't say it! The weatherman will do it for youPosted Tuesday, May 25, 2010, at 9:09 PM
There is a four letter word at our house that no one is allowed to say. No one is allowed to talk about it, and certainly no one is allowed to wish for it.
At least not right now.
The four letter word? R-A-I-N. Yes, rain.
But even if I try to avoid the word, just a few minutes listening to a country radio station and I hear that word again in a song by Luke Bryan:
"Rain makes corn.
Corn makes whiskey.
Whiskey makes my baby
a little bit frisky.
Rain is a good thing."
Yeah, right. Although it's a great song, it's obvious Bryan hasn't been trying to grow corn in this area the last few years.
If he had, the song would have gone something like this: "Rain makes corn (a) sprout and then rot in the wet field, (b) turn yellow because of too much moisture, (c) drown in a flooded field or (d) stay in the bag because the fields are too wet too plant."
If I had written the song, the chorus might be:
"Rain makes farming a little risky
and makes my baby wish he had a little whiskey.
Rain is not necessarily a good thing."
Okay, so it doesn't exactly rhyme.
But the truth remains, an over abundance of rain is rarely a good thing.
I was just thinking the other day about a few years ago (in some ways it seems like a lifetime ago) when we couldn't get rain no matter how hard we prayed.
Back in that far-away land, no matter what the weatherman said -- whether it was 90 percent chance or 100 percent chance -- it still didn't rain in our neck of the woods.
I may live to regret it, but right now I miss those "good old days."
Now it seems just the opposite. Ten percent chance means one inch of rain. Twenty percent chance of rain means two inches ... well, you get the idea. No matter what we can't seem to miss one.
During this rainy spring (and the one before that, and the one before that and the one before that ...) my husband constantly tortures himself by watching the weather at least six times a day. He listens to it on the radio at least 20 times a day and looks it up on the Internet no less than 30 times a day.
I can't understand it, because I do everything I can to avoid hearing the weather report. If its not raining today, why ruin my nice day by finding out it is going to rain the next 22 days?
Of course, my "ignoring" the weather is starting to cause problems in our marriage.
You see on those rare sunny days, when he isn't around to watch the weather all six times, he politely asks me to do it instead.
And I mean to, I really do, but apparently I have a "weatherman block out button"
I will force myself to watch the whole news, intensely paying attention to every story and every commercial -- right up until the time the weatherman comes on screen. Somehow, someway my mind begins to wander at that very moment or I hear something outside and have to go check it out, or I remember I have something burning in the oven or I suddenly have to go to the "little girl's room."
It's not always the same thing that distracts me, but I always seem to be distracted. By the time I realize my attention has waned and I have neglected my "job" the weatherman utters his last words, "More on next week's weather tonight at 10 o'clock ..."
Oops, I missed it again.
Hmm, maybe if I buy him some whiskey he'll forget all about the weather.
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