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Don't say it! The weatherman will do it for you

Posted Tuesday, May 25, 2010, at 9:09 PM

There is a four letter word at our house that no one is allowed to say. No one is allowed to talk about it, and certainly no one is allowed to wish for it.

At least not right now.

The four letter word? R-A-I-N. Yes, rain.

But even if I try to avoid the word, just a few minutes listening to a country radio station and I hear that word again in a song by Luke Bryan:

"Rain makes corn.

Corn makes whiskey.

Whiskey makes my baby

a little bit frisky.

Rain is a good thing."

Yeah, right. Although it's a great song, it's obvious Bryan hasn't been trying to grow corn in this area the last few years.

If he had, the song would have gone something like this: "Rain makes corn (a) sprout and then rot in the wet field, (b) turn yellow because of too much moisture, (c) drown in a flooded field or (d) stay in the bag because the fields are too wet too plant."

If I had written the song, the chorus might be:

"Rain makes farming a little risky

and makes my baby wish he had a little whiskey.

Rain is not necessarily a good thing."

Okay, so it doesn't exactly rhyme.

But the truth remains, an over abundance of rain is rarely a good thing.

I was just thinking the other day about a few years ago (in some ways it seems like a lifetime ago) when we couldn't get rain no matter how hard we prayed.

Back in that far-away land, no matter what the weatherman said -- whether it was 90 percent chance or 100 percent chance -- it still didn't rain in our neck of the woods.

I may live to regret it, but right now I miss those "good old days."

Now it seems just the opposite. Ten percent chance means one inch of rain. Twenty percent chance of rain means two inches ... well, you get the idea. No matter what we can't seem to miss one.

During this rainy spring (and the one before that, and the one before that and the one before that ...) my husband constantly tortures himself by watching the weather at least six times a day. He listens to it on the radio at least 20 times a day and looks it up on the Internet no less than 30 times a day.

Why?

I can't understand it, because I do everything I can to avoid hearing the weather report. If its not raining today, why ruin my nice day by finding out it is going to rain the next 22 days?

Of course, my "ignoring" the weather is starting to cause problems in our marriage.

You see on those rare sunny days, when he isn't around to watch the weather all six times, he politely asks me to do it instead.

And I mean to, I really do, but apparently I have a "weatherman block out button"

I will force myself to watch the whole news, intensely paying attention to every story and every commercial -- right up until the time the weatherman comes on screen. Somehow, someway my mind begins to wander at that very moment or I hear something outside and have to go check it out, or I remember I have something burning in the oven or I suddenly have to go to the "little girl's room."

It's not always the same thing that distracts me, but I always seem to be distracted. By the time I realize my attention has waned and I have neglected my "job" the weatherman utters his last words, "More on next week's weather tonight at 10 o'clock ..."

Oops, I missed it again.

Hmm, maybe if I buy him some whiskey he'll forget all about the weather.


Comments
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[Show most recent comments first]

Having a farmer husband the above definitely rings true. He is always bringing me info on the weather, and there is no farmer who is ever happy with the forecast - complains because it is raining, and then later will be complaining that it is not !!!! He can spend 20 minutes waiting for the area forecast on Weather Channel - I pop on the internet and have it in 20 seconds. He has internet access on his phone, but I think he likes to compare all of the weather sources in hopes that one of them will be wrong, or suddenly it will change !!! For 27 years I have been telling him he should not fret over things he cannot have any control over, but to no avail. So I just listen and sigh !!!!

-- Posted by the26er on Tue, Jun 1, 2010, at 12:03 PM

Hey Marcia. Enjoy your columns. Let's get in touch. TerriO has my info. Long lost cousin Richard G.

-- Posted by rhgriffin on Thu, Jun 3, 2010, at 9:39 AM

More stressful than being the wife of a farmer is GIRLFRIEND of a farmer. Or so I'm learning. Seven days a week, dawn until dark. If I get to see him at all, I drive over there at 9pm or after with something for his supper. He's usually asleep half way through a conversation. But that's OK, because he's a hard-working man of character and worth it. Wouldn't trade him for all of the 9-5er's in the world!

-- Posted by News Hound on Thu, Jun 3, 2010, at 3:05 PM

And yes, I'm becoming as much of a weather fanatic as he is!

-- Posted by News Hound on Thu, Jun 3, 2010, at 3:06 PM

Well News Hound - do not expect it to change should you get married. I can almost guarantee you that you will see even LESS of him then, especially if he is at this time a young farmer who is only getting started. But yes, those farmers are a hard-working bunch, and they do have a great work ethic. Just sometimes they need to be prodded a bit that there are other important things in life !!! Good luck to ya in your future with your farmboy !!!

-- Posted by the26er on Mon, Jun 7, 2010, at 8:32 PM

Thanks for the good wishes. I believe I'm prepared for his lifestyle and would join him with no regrets. He is older so this has been his whole working life. This is what makes him who he is. I enjoy reading the column. Gives an amusing insight to farm life and family. Those "in the know" realize it's not all fun and games though. But sometimes we need to be reminded that there can be humor in the most frustrating situations.

-- Posted by News Hound on Thu, Jun 10, 2010, at 9:14 AM

Great post Marcia, you spoke straight from the heart for all farm wives! Thanks for the laugh on your chorus, I needed that. We have alfalfa that needs to be mowed but we can't get to it for all the rain.

-- Posted by farmmom on Tue, Jul 27, 2010, at 9:33 AM


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