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What If...
Posted Sunday, July 27, 2008, at 10:11 PM<< Previous | Read comments | Respond | Email link | Next >>
Have you ever wondered "what if"? Looking back over your life, most would agree they might have done something differently. There are also the people that "wished away" their lives along with the ones that said, "if only I had". Which category do you fit in or can you relate to all of them?
Woody Allen, famed film director, writer, and actor was quoted as saying, "My one regret in life is that I am not someone else". I cannot deny it; I have allowed this thought to trickle inside. Who does not think that the grass seems greener on the other side? I realized the other day, with another birthday approaching, that middle age has somehow crept up on me. When did this happen? My 25th Marshall High School class reunion is this year so this just puts Ms. Clairol even closer to a reality. Twenty-five years have passed since I have seen most of my classmates and I cannot help but wonder how life has progressed for them. Have I made the most of my life? For obvious reasons, no one can have a fairy tale life and the likelihood of their life turning out just as they expected is very unlikely. Would I agree that some people have more resources available to them than others do, yes, I would, but I also think that anyone can accomplish anything they really believe they can. Do not get nervous, I will not make this article into a repetitive "feel good" therapeutic bag of baloney. Every morning, five days a week, I hop into my Toyota and head to my job that I have been lucky enough to have and be committed to for the past 22 years. I did mention that we actually have two Toyota vehicles did I not? Let the Union Hall calls start rolling in! My home consists of three bedrooms and two baths, three dogs, a cat, a teenager and a grade-schooler. I have two John Deere mowers, four acres of land, and a healthy mortgage to prove it. So far, I have never been homeless or unemployed. Luckily, I have survived thus far with no major health concerns. Twice in my life, I have found love and a support system in a Christian, loving, and caring husband. Okay, here is the downhill slide from atop Magic Mountain. Please securely attach your safety belts and keep all loose objects inside the moving car. My refrigerator is on constant diet status because I will never have a super model figure, my checkbook is not bottomless, and how many socks do I have to loose between the washer and the dryer? Both machines sit next to each other but somehow these socks disappear weekly yet I find the smallest of toys each week. You can wash and dry bouncy balls without them slipping out of a size 8 slim pant's pocket. Are there days that I wonder what my life would be like if I had not moved back to Marshall after college? Would I be living the single life in a contemporary condominium somewhere, parking my Mercedes convertible in the garage after work, and listening to my Bose Wave radio as I drift off to sleep? My weekends might have been filled with the Arts, café visits with friends, and total control of the television remote. Truth is, I should have no "what ifs". We get to a certain rung on the ladder of life because of decisions we make. If we are not happy with a bowl of Cheerios, we should work toward a bowl of Wheaties or whatever is on our menu of life. When I get tired of helping kids with homework, complaining about their messy rooms, whining about my house not being clean enough, or my clothes shrinking from the summer before, I realize that I have a great life. That darn washer or dryer loses socks, shrinks clothes, and turns my husband's white t-shirts pink. What if I was able to buy a…oh never mind, he looks good in pink. Comments Showing comments in chronological order [Show most recent comments first] |
Karen Mullins-Lamb was born and raised in Marshall. Her blog focuses on hometown events and happenings or national and regional events that affect Marshall residents. She says, "I would like to highlight working toward making Marshall a more attractive place to work and live for future generations. How do we keep our youth here or to return here
after college?" She is very interested in hearing from readers on these issues.
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I enjoyed this Blog......so many people wish for something that their neighbors have or the
field is always greener on the other side of the road. Everyone has a purpose on this earth...we
sometimes can not figure what it is. Everything
happens for a reason and again, it is sometimes
hard to know why!! I think if the "what if's" was that important you probably would have done it, so
the choice you made at that particular time in your life was the right choice. (It takes a real
man to wear pink & laugh about it.)
Senior Sister,
Thanks for the compliments and I agree. Looking back, I have decided that if it were that important, I would have done it. Why is it that we never seem to be happy with what we are given? This is what prompted my article because I get frustrated at times with myself over what I could have done. I have made a good life for myself, I am honest, and I try to help others not so fortunate.
My husband is my official copy editor and he did laugh. I failed to comment on the bleached blue shirt that he still wears occasionally working around the house.
K Mullins-Lamb
Excellent, I loved it. And I want to share with you one of my favorite quotes from Garrison Keillor on the subject: "Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known."
I enjoyed this piece Karen. I think you have a nice style, stay with it. Someday you will look back on these days smile, and be momentarily overwhelmed by nostagia.
Shame on me posting to a writer and utilizing bad grammar. Should I have put a comma before smile to reflect the pause? Should I then have deleted the comma after smile? Aaaargh!
Oh gee! I am getting in deeper and deeper. Should I not have said poor grammar?
Oklahoma Reader,
I would have put a comma before smile and after smile but what do I know? Unfortunately, nostalgia is spelled wrong. Sorry. Thanks for the encouragement and I do appreciate your comments. I am still learning! Also very glad you are always so involved in the blogs.
K Mullins-Lamb
Kathy,
We listen to Garrison nearly every weekend on Prairie Home; we think he is such a hoot. He is performing live at the Carlsen Center at Johnson County Community College September 23. Google JCCC and you can find the link. I think he would be excellent to see. How true is the quote from Garrison? My gosh, often times we have a vision of what we think will make us happy or what is the best for the particular time but in the end the decision may have turned out to be detrimental. Therefore, I guess I really do not need to have a body of a super model because I am positive they have problems too!
By the way, I would have posted this response a couple hours earlier but I had to clean the litter box, start a load of laundry, tell my 8 year old to pick up dirty clothes on his bedroom floor, clean the kitchen sink and sweep the kitchen floor. If only I had a … I know … here I go again.
K Mullins-Lamb
Karen - If you haven't seen him live before, you'll enjoy him even more than you already do. I saw him in Madison, Wisconsin, about three years ago. One funny thing, I found myself closing my eyes so I couldn't see him...probably because I'm so used to just hearing him. It was a great show, and I'd really enjoy seeing another one (this time with my eyes open), but we won't get there this time. Enjoy it!
Thank you Karen for your kind comment. There has to be an analogy somewhere in that mess I made. How about, when one obsesses about details they may miss a larger error.
I always enjoy your blog, Karen. Your wisdom and insight are appreciated. Keep up the good work.
oneofmany,
Again, thank you for the inspiration. I am not sure whether I call my musings wisdom but I enjoy writing. I have written since I was in high school and have almost decided that it is more therapeutic than anything else. I have made many decisions and calmed myself many times within my own mind!
I hope someone has the sense to tell me that I am not cutting it if I start to fall off the edge. I do not want to bore anyone with my ramblings.
K Mullins-Lamb
A good friend of mine fell into this the other day and shared it with me in time of utter confusion about my own existence:
"The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Cups of Coffee"
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember this story...
A professor stood before his philosophy class with a few items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar and he shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous 'yes'.
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. 'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions--and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else--the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first--the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.' One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.'
The coffee just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple cups of coffee with a friend.'
Your Blog generated some good answers and I especially liked Smokin' Cheetah's professor story, which is very true!!! Hang in there little girl....you are not by yourself in these feelings!
Cheetah,
I have heard the coffee story before and really enjoy it. Makes total sense to me, I can rationale every reason why I should not fill my jar with sand. You are right, I have a handful of very good friends, and a couple that we certainly would share those extra cups of coffee.
I have enjoyed the comments greatly. I remember another high school friend that gave me a doorknob hanger, remember those things. On the hanger is said, "When you reach the end of your hope, tie a knot in it and swing on it."
K Mullins-Lamb
That's fine. I imagine anyone clever enough to play hide and seek games is also clever enough to follow established posting policies.
Eric,
I'm a little confused with your comment. Was is supposed to be posted to me.
KML
Karen you are not the only one confused by Eric's comment. Is it addressed to the writer of a comment that he erased? Is that someone a poster that he has chased across the blogoshere in some strange duel, in which Eric is expunging the posters inappropriate comments as they pop up? Ah, a mystery.
It was a response to a post by a user who was subsequently banned. Posts by banned users disappear, so I should have deleted my response. Sorry for the confusion!
Eric,
Not a problem, sorry they felt inclined to post such a response. I didn't know I brought out the best in people!
OK Reader,
Have you seen that movie "Duel" with Dennis Weaver? I just saw that for the first time in my life this year.
Karen, it is a suspenseful old movie. I saw it on television in the very early seventies. If my memory serves me it was made for television. No longer do you see any new movies of that caliber made for network television. It was not so broken up by commercials back when. We were not as well trained viewers then, and would not have tolerated it. I'm glad you got a chance to catch it, hopefully on a commercial free channel.
OK Reader,
We have a HD movie channel with no commercials. We use the DVR to record a lot and then watch at our convenience. I love the DVR thing, you can just pause it, fast forward, etc. I sometimes get bored watching regular or "live tv" shows that I can't skip through the commercials.
KML
Duel - wow, great movie, scared the daylights out of me when I saw it years ago. Commercials drive me nuts, too and it gets many degrees worse during election years, don't you think?
My daughter and I were big fans of ice skating when she was in her teens. I once counted something like 92 commercials in a 2-hour ice show, WAY more than necessary, IMHO.
BTW, enjoyed meeting you at the farmers market today. OK Reader, so sorry you had to miss such an enjoyable morning!
Kathy,
It was good to meet you as well. What a great morning for the farmers market and I think it was a success. I had some serendipity sweet corn today for lunch and it was excellent. I thoroughly enjoyed the music as well, great event.
My husband is a unique movie fan. I say unique because he watches older movies that I have never heard of and I have to say Duel was one of them. Like you, it scared me in a suspenseful way not a Friday the 13th kind of way!
For anyone who was not able to make it to the farmers market and sidewalk sales, you missed some good old homegrown treats and bargains.
Today is the last day of your previous life. What you wish for from here can be done.
I read your blog every chance I get. I really enjoy reading your view on life. I have a 25 year high school reunion coming up also. And yes, I graduated from Marshall High. I totally agree with you, that I woke up one day and was now middle aged. Not knowing where the time went. Just to let you know, Clariol and I are already good friends. Keep up the good work!
Karen,
Many years ago Mary Jo Reith was the editor of the Marshall Democrat-News. Each week she wrote a column that appeared in Friday's paper and I found it very interesting and entertaining. She talked about issues of the day, and about her life, her daughter, her family, small town life, etc. Reading your blog reminds me a lot of Mary Jo's column. I say this because I notice your screen name is writerintraining. After editing the newspaper for several years, I believe Mary Jo went on to teaching journalism at Marshall High. So if you are a writer in training I think you are following in the footsteps of someone who could actually be called a "writer", so I think you are heading in the right direction and doing a great job!
KKM,
Thanks for the compliments and I am so glad so many people are enjoying my writing. I never know when I am getting ready to post another entry whether or not people will understand me or not!
I am hoping to see you at the class reunion at the end of September. Of course I am scanning my brain and trying to put the KKM with someone from my class, do we happen to share the same name?
Typesetter,
Oh come on, my kids think I'm becoming "famous" now (words of an 8 year old)! Honestly, I do appreciate everyone's positive reaction to my postings. I normally write straight from my heart no matter what I'm writing about. I would like to dream about those days of becoming a writer but I will refrain from changing my screen name for now. Keep reading and I promise to keep writing.
K Mullins-Lamb
Yes, we do share the same first name. I no longer live in Marshall but like to keep up with what is happening in my hometown. I still have friends and family that live in Marshall. I do like reading your blogs. They are real life and very interesting.
KKM,
Good deal, glad you keep up on things in Marshall. So, how about that 25th class reunion, will you be able to make it?
The Marshall High School Class of 1983 will be celebrating their 25th class reunion, Homecoming weekend in Marshall. Hopefully most people have been contacted and I'm sure the MDN will have something soon in the paper.
K Mullins-Lamb