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I've Got To Say It!Posted Wednesday, December 29, 2010, at 1:18 PM
The end of the year is about to roll around and I've been reflecting on how things have gone over the year. Sometimes a person holds their feeling to themselves and then there are times when things that have been bottled up for a long time just have to come out. It's my time!
Lately I have enjoyed spending time with Mary Ann and going Christmas shopping. Right before Christmas we were shopping at Kohl's and Macy's in Columbia. I experienced something that I haven't experienced at a retail store in some time and that was real customer service. Now that made a positive shopping experience for me until I got the bill.
Another thing I notice is whenever your shopping in an up scale store you never see moron's running around the store in their pajamas. Maybe they don't know what fashion really is of can't afford to be out shopping in the first place. Looking at it rationally - a normal person doesn't wear their work closes to bed so why would the wear the sleep wear out in public. Really, the big lady walking around WalMart with the teddy bears all over her body doesn't look like she is dressed for success. Hey people, that look went out of style a while back. Clothing manufacturers discovered that their sales on profitable clothing decreased while low end pajamas increased. What does that say for those who persist in carrying on this bizarre sense of fashion? One evening late I actually saw a woman walking through the local Walmart wearing a night shirt and her underwear (panties) was visibly hanging out the bottom. One might think that to be provocative. I don't know maybe if I were forty years younger and she was eighty pounds lighter I might have been impressed.
What's with the low rider jeans anyway. They used to hang from the hips now they only make it about half way up to the hips. They may look good on a fashion model but then not every girl that wears them is a fashion model. One word of advice, if you find yourself constantly having to pulling your pants up or your shirt down then you might need to consider wearing clothing that is designed for your body. Lately I've noticed that the only hour glass figures I've seen is the bulge that appears above and below the belt on the person wearing the low rider pants. Who would have thought that the love handles would become a fashion statement. Where are the fashion cops anyway?
I did see a woman wearing blue jeans that looked like she fell off the back of a motorcycle and the ruff surface of the pavement just about shredded her pants. Maybe I'm just a guy who is ahead of his time. I've had pants like those for years that got like that from hard work and I've been throwing them away. I've seen men walking around with pants in the same condition. Over the years I guess I must have thrown away a fortune. Maybe I should open a retail clothing store and call it Dumpster Diver's Clothing Outlet. I could get old pants from the guys at the shop and make a killing selling them for $110.00 a pair.
Another thing worth mentioning is seeing a man with a 52 inch waist trying to fit into pants with a 34 inch waist. There they are walking around in public all gut and no butt and looking like they might be pregnant. I guess I'm pretty sharp, it may have fooled you but I don't think it fooled anyone else. And for God's sake gentlemen pull your pants up. When you walk around with your legs spread to keep your pants off the floor it looks like you've got a bad case of the chapped ass.
I walked in to the local Arby's one night and I heard Rap playing over the store P A system. I don't mind telling you that I personally think that this attempt at entertainment is an embarrassment to every singer and musician that has ever ....
One day I was playing a song written by Bob Seger when a young man walked in and shouted "What's That?" I responded by telling him that the instrument playing was a Saxophone, part of the woodwind section of the orchestra that is located behind the flutes and clarinets and in front of the percussion section in the back. He didn't care much for the skinny on the subject but I was glad to have that opportunity to broaden his horizons.
I think I've always wanted to be in the entertainment business but I know my own limitations. There was a time when training and musical ability determined how successful an entertainer could become. That doesn't seem to be the case anymore. Anyone can be in the entertainment business even if you can't read or write a single note of music; it doesn't matter if you can't play a single note on a musical instrument; even if you can't carry the proverbial tune in a bucket and you still want to be in the entertainment business all you have to do is dress up like a rodeo clown, grab your crotch and go spastic on stage while yelling bad poetry. I visited a local establishment the other day and (I'm sorry, I have a real hard time even calling this stuff music)it was going on in the background. I witnessed adults on the dance floor (picture this) moving up and down, attempting to stay in step with a drum beat and moving just like my daughter did when she was first learning to walk.
I guess I'll ring out the old year with Wal-Mart. It seems that the corporate leaders have decided to rid themselves of anything that reminds the public or Sam Walton. Let's see, they removed the hyphen in the name. Instead of the smiley face all over the store that will be replaced with the trendy Walmart Spark. I think the new slogan for the store is "ALWAYS THE LOWEST PRICE MAYBE I WE HAVE IT IN THE FIRST PLACE." More than anyone Sam Walton understand that you can't serve the public and make a profit selling something if you don't have it. What do they think they're spending all that money on advertising for anyway?
One day I might take the time to get the rest of it out. Right now all I want to say is Happy Holidays and what are the words to that song that they always play at midnight on New Year's Eve?
I'm John Q. Let it out.
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Larry Maxwell is a retired businessman who often writes about topics related to faith and religion.